My neighbor told me to write a journal for the sake of my family. His wife just passed away about three weeks ago and he’s been reading and learning so much about her life. Private thoughts she had that he never knew. He tells me some stories here and there but I’m sure there’s so many memories he can’t even put into words.
I don’t know if I’ll ever journal consistently but I do enjoy writing my thoughts from time to time and maybe I’ll write them with more intention after our conversations.
This bougainvillea always makes me think of my mom and how she taught me so much about gardening but how different our styles were. This was the one plant I had that had established itself to add some color and help cover the fence for my wedding. I came home from some errands to find my mom with the pruners hacking away at this bush, cuts up to her elbows from the thorns, and her being totally proud of her accomplishments. She was so pleased with her work that I couldn’t tell her that I was horrified. We just blotted her scrapes and had a wedding. Now these plants are twice her height and they bring me many happy memories about her goals for a more manicured garden and, undoubtedly, more manicured children. 🌺🌸
Today is Monday and I am awake and up mostly because of anxiety. I don't want to admit it but it's true. I woke up early and started thinking about my to-do list and then there was no way I could get back to sleep after that. I have a lot to decide this week like will I add more colors to my yarn line. It seems like that would be a nobrainer but there is a lot to consider like how my sales will increase this fall (how am I going to make sure I can pay for the inventory that I buy) and where all that yarn is going to go when it gets here!
These are normal thoughts for me and my small business but to compound them with the stress of losing my mother is a little overwhelming. I guess just have to make the decisions and move through the day. I always have a huge list of tasks for the day and ideas for the future so I guess it doesn't make today any different than any other day.
